Dying.

I’m dying. Breathless and panicked Stammering and sweating, Whispering weightless words To empty faces Who stare sadistically Like Colosseum spectators. They prefer this mental breakdown To my actual material. I’m dying again And they absolutely love it.

Rise of the Planet of the Kids.

After years of plotting, the children finally struck. Adults were forced to surrender TV remotes and future dreams before being herded onto cattle trucks under the supervision of machine-gun wielding adolescents. The lucky ones who escaped the city fled to far-off snow-capped mountains where young legs leadened quickly. Within months the city had fallen. Angry … More Rise of the Planet of the Kids.

Anti-Cliches…

I knocked twice on the Doctor’s door. ‘Who’s there,’ came the deep crackled voice. ‘Your next patient,’ I said. ‘Come in!’ I went inside and sat down at his desk. The wall clock ticked hypnotically. ‘What seems to be the problem,’ he said. ‘Well Doctor,’ I said. ‘I feel like a cliché.’ The Doctor looked … More Anti-Cliches…

Bastard Sun.

It’s fucking evil the sun out here. A right nasty piece of shit. Comes up just before the locals start wailing and hangs there all fucking day like a proper menace. I have to smear meself in Army issue factor fifty to keep it from torching me skin. Makes me look like Casper the fucking … More Bastard Sun.

H.I.V. TEST

Before the blood was taken I was one hundred percent positive I was one hundred percent negative, and I hate to sound so negative because I used to be so positive, but now the bloods been taken I am one hundred percent positive I am one hundred percent positive. And to think: I used to be … More H.I.V. TEST

Missing Penis!

  My Penis had vanished! Gone! I looked in all the usual places: Behind the couch, under the couch, down the couch. Nothing. So after three worrying days I went to the police station to fill out a missing penis report. The desk sergeant asked if I had a photograph of my penis. ‘No,’ I … More Missing Penis!