Under strengths you’ve put strength. Under weaknesses you’ve put heat vision… Advertisements
If I want advice off you mate it’ll be about getting bitches to leave…
I very tenderly explain to them that I will just say no…
If you were to ask me to name three Goodfellas I probably wouldn’t say Capone, Gambino…..you know. I’d go Stabile, Carbone, Eyes….. Two-times.
I’ve tried all kinds of bait in the past: worms, fish, murder, sex, jealousy, and revenge, but so far none have worked. So today I bait my hook with an image that I bought from a small fishing shack at the end of the promenade. Slowly I introduce the image to the hook. Sensing its fate, … More Bait
The author sat at his desk in the warm sunlight that streamed in through the French doors. The study was a strange mix of chaos and order with books stacked neatly in on shelves and old papers of every kind strewn on the desk like a great reef. Framed photographs of the author’s grandchildren stood on … More The Author.
My time-travel experiment had failed. I was doomed to spend the rest of my days travelling between the past and the future with no hope of returning to the moment I had ignited the engine on my time-vehicle. I lived in the knowledge that I would travel through the cold conduit of time until I swallowed … More The Anxiety of Time-Travel.
I asked a builder to build me a house. He came to my home and we drank tea at the kitchen table in front of the glowing coal fire and talked about what I wanted. ‘I want you to build me a creepy house on a hill,’ I said. ‘You know the sort: creaky floorboards, … More House
After years of plotting, the children finally struck. Adults were forced to surrender TV remotes and future dreams before being herded onto cattle trucks under the supervision of machine-gun wielding adolescents. The lucky ones who escaped the city fled to far-off snow-capped mountains where young legs leadened quickly. Within months the city had fallen. Angry … More Rise of the Planet of the Kids.
In a bid to improve the mental state of commuters, a South-Western railway company had replaced the usual flat track from Woking to Paddington station with a train-sized rollercoaster track. The usual one-hour journey now takes nearly two hours but in that time passengers take in two loop the loops, three cobra rolls, four camel … More The Louder you Scream…