My time-travel experiment had failed. I was doomed to spend the rest of my days travelling between the past and the future with no hope of returning to the moment I had ignited the engine on my time-vehicle. I lived in the knowledge that I would travel through the cold conduit of time until I swallowed … More The Anxiety of Time-Travel.
I asked a builder to build me a house. He came to my home and we drank tea at the kitchen table in front of the glowing coal fire and talked about what I wanted. ‘I want you to build me a creepy house on a hill,’ I said. ‘You know the sort: creaky floorboards, … More House
I’m dying. Breathless and panicked Stammering and sweating, Whispering weightless words To empty faces Who stare sadistically Like Colosseum spectators. They prefer this mental breakdown To my actual material. I’m dying again And they absolutely love it.
After years of plotting, the children finally struck. Adults were forced to surrender TV remotes and future dreams before being herded onto cattle trucks under the supervision of machine-gun wielding adolescents. The lucky ones who escaped the city fled to far-off snow-capped mountains where young legs leadened quickly. Within months the city had fallen. Angry … More Rise of the Planet of the Kids.
In a bid to improve the mental state of commuters, a South-Western railway company had replaced the usual flat track from Woking to Paddington station with a train-sized rollercoaster track. The usual one-hour journey now takes nearly two hours but in that time passengers take in two loop the loops, three cobra rolls, four camel … More The Louder you Scream…